Episode IV: Too Accurate for Sandpeople...

With a sandcrawler
as big as a building, how are
Jawas so easily killed?

===================

Obi-Wan Kenobi,
Private eye-- on the case of
the Murdered Jawas.

===================

Feeling invincible,
Luke rushes back home to save
two rustic dullards

===================

"Wait, Luke! It's too
dangerous!" (Oh, drat! Another reckless and
impetuous padawan!)

===================

Black smoke rises
from sunken dwelling; two skeletons
on the burning sand.

===================

(Oh, dear...this is like
the time Anakin lost his hand trying
to be a hero...)

===================

Luke returns to the
burned sandcrawler; Threepio piling Jawa
cloaks on the fire.

===================

His youth consumed by flames,
Luke forsakes the desert and prepares
for his longest journey.

===================

Author's Note:

Is the will of the Force
at work, or is Obi-Wan using Luke
for his own purposes?

Episode IV: Vader--note to self...kill Admiral Motti...

(Nice, shiny black table,
crisp uniforms, arrogant attitudes--
Kill them all if I could!)

=========================

General Tagge's stiff
uniform collar digs into his neck--
(Where the hell's my drink?!)

=========================

"While you strut around,
Motti, the Rebel Alliance is drawing
bullseyes on your back!"

=========================

Tagge's a general...but
Motti calls him commander of a
starfleet. I'm so confused!

========================

If I get out of this
alive, I'll hire some Twi'lek girls
and celebrate!*

*Memo scribbled by Wullf Yularen next to a doodle of Lord Vader's helmet

========================

Though "liberty died"
nineteen years earlier in the Senate,
now it's official.

=======================

Tagge's bureaucratic
second-sense tells him that no good
can come of this.

=======================

In his pride, Motti
imagines ultimate power through technology,
but he forgets Sith history.

=======================

The "sad devotion" of
a "sorcerer" to an "ancient religion"
silences old Motti.

=======================

(Sorcerer's ways, eh?!
Whos' laughing now, you sideburn-wearing
son of a nerf-herder!!!)

======================

You great big bully!
I remember when you tagged around
with a snippy kid!*

*Another memo scribbled by Wullf Yularen, this one below a caricature of Anakin Skywalker saying, "I hate sand..."

======================

"This bickering is pointless!"
(But it's almost as fun as the time
I crushed those protesters!)

======================

The meeting over,
Motti realizes that he won't be eating
popcorn for a while.

Episode IV: Old Ben's Hovel

To Luke, the Clone Wars
were distant, ancient history--
his dad was a spicer.

===================

After his terrible
ordeal, Threepio shuts down a while,
dreaming of electric dewbacks.

===================

In an old trunk, Obi-Wan
hides a secret treasure--Anakin
Skywalker's lightsaber.

===================

You can almost see
the glow in Luke's eyes when he
first ignites the blade.

===================

For over a thousand
generations, Jedi Knights believed
they were invincible.

===================

Hearing Obi-Wan talk,
Luke's mind travels beyond the Dune Sea
for the first time.

===================

"I don't seem to remember
ever owning a droid." (Does the name
R4 ring a bell?)

===================

General Kenobi listens
to the beautiful hologram, pauses,
and recalls that he's old.

===================

"I can't get involved!"
Joseph Campbell calls this the hero's
refusal of the call.

===================

(Learn the ways of the
Force? Go to Alderaan?) Luke, trapped
between duty and desire.

===================

In nineteen years of
searching, didn't Vader ever think to
find Ben on Tatooine?

Episode IV: Missing!!

Twin suns disappear--
Luke imagines his destiny fading
into orange half-light.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Terrified of Master Luke,
Threepio hides behind Lars family junk,
imagining the worst.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

"Luke? Luuuke?! Luu-uuke?!!"
Save your breath, Owen--He's out chasing down
your bad investment.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The landspeeder glides
over desert sand without touching ground--
Is that Threepio driving?!?

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Like earth-colored ghosts,
the Tusken Raiders mount their Banthas,
hungry for a score.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

This may be the same tribe
that tried to kill Anakin at Boonta Eve--
why'd they leave Luke alive?

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Amid the meager spoils,
the sandpeople scatter, hearing the
howl of a "krayt dragon."

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Sir Alec Guinness,
Knight and Jedi Knight, lover
of desert scenes.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Old Ben and Luke
meet again under the hot sun, as
Threepio's arm lies broken.

Episode IV: Dinner at the Lars Place

"I think those droids might
have been stolen!" Yeah, brilliant Luke!
That's what Jawas do!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Who the hell painted
the Lars kitchen?! Looks like someone tied
a crayon to a gundark's tail!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Wonder why they don't
like Old Ben...I suppose he does
kind of smell funny.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

(Yeah...that's it Owen...
keep Luke here as long as you can!
Built in slave labor!)

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The Imperial Academy
on Carida! Once there, I'll become
a faceless stormtrooper!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Beru knows that Luke
can't stay forever, but she's remembering
the baby Ob-Wan brought.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

R2, gone from the garage,
Threepio bad-mouthing him needlessly; nothing in
Luke's electrobinoculars.

Episode IV: Doesn't look like we have much choice...

Under Tattooine sun,
droids lined up like metal convicts
outside the giant crawler.
_______________________

Sizing up Threepio,
Owen Lars thinks, "Man, I
forgot to shave today!"
_______________________

These humans are stupid!
We could sell them their own poodoo
if we wanted to!*

*Translated from Jawa
_______________________

Luke's morning ruined,
he imagines Cammie running away with
the first pilot she sees.
______________________

"Can I speak Bocce?!?"
If Threepio could salivate, he'd spit
right in Old Lars' face!
______________________

01-01-10...01001010!
1-001010!10-010
1001-1101010010!*

*[B-b-bad motivator!
J-just let me be! Th-these Jawas
have t-taken my best gears!]

R5-D4 translated from Binary
_____________________

No Toshi Station,
no Biggs, no Cammie, no Fixer--
stuck in a giant sandbox!
_____________________

As Threepio soaks in
the hot oil, Luke, with his toy T-16,
seeks adventure and excitement.
_____________________

"Got a lot of carbon scoring...
Whoa! A woman! I've never seen one
that small! And she's blue!"
_____________________

Luke wonders if Obi-Wan
is related to Old Ben--but Aunt Beru's call
to supper startles him.
_____________________

Luke, frustrated; Artoo
refusing to replay the secret message;
Threepio with a hydrospanner.

Episode IV: Droids in the Desert

"I've got to rest
before I fall apart! We must have
walked over a hundred feet!"

________________________

010010101--0100100
010100001001010101--
100101010001010101?*

*[Tattooine--my files say
humans, dragons, sandpeople and Jawas--
How dangerous could Jawas be?]

Translated from Binary

________________________

"That malfunctioning little
twerp!"--Threepio prays to the Maker,
wondering why He made sand.

________________________

"Look sir--droids!"
But a piece of metal in a desert
doth not a droid make.

________________________

1001010100100101010
100001001010101011001
0101000100101010101*

*["Sensors show uncorrelated
signals approaching from the west."] R2 thinks
of less complicated times.

Partly translated from Binary

_______________________

["Utini! Look what we found!
An R2 unit! This might feed our families
until the next harvest!"]

*Translated from Jawa

_______________________

Threepio, seeing the transport,
forgot his danger and R2, imagining
hot oil baths and hot droid babes.

_______________________

Jawas traveling the Jundland
Wastes, sucking up droids in a
giant vacuum cleaner.

Episode IV: Attack on the Tantive IV

The Tantive IV runs
like a frightened rabbit, as the Devastator
moves in for the kill.

_________________________

10010101001010101010100101--
1001010101001000.
101000101010100101010!*

*[Threepio's saying we're doomed--
but I'm not giving up yet.
Sometimes he's such an old queen!]

Translated from Binary

____________________________

"They shot down the main reactor!"
Threepio's burnished gold appears dull
through smoke and fear.

____________________________

"I know I'm going to regret this!
Still, the seats are really comfortable,
and it has a nice view..."

____________________________

"Oh, crap! They're coming through!
May the Force be with me, and keep this
plastic helmet from melting!"

____________________________

Sparks and tremendous noise!
Lightning and thunder from the docking bay!
The 501st has arrived.

____________________________

010011001010101001001
10101001001010101010?
10010101010000101010101!*

*[What's this lovely lady
with the buns on her head doing to me?
Whoa! I can see down her shirt!]

Translated from Binary
_____________________________

"Consular ship, my ass!"
(Why am I crushing this guy's windpipe
with my hand? Use the Force!)

_____________________________

"She'll be alright!"
(Yeah, she'll be fine soon enough, but
what about Joe? He's dead!)

_____________________________

Outside her cabin,
Leia could hear the Tantive IV
being taken apart.

_____________________________

Artoo and Threepio
tumble headlong across the void
toward a desert waste.