How in the world
can those Death Star engineers
survive in no atmosphere?
*************************
The technical chatter
between the Death Star controllers
makes me so happy.
*************************
Stormtroopers appear
from the depths of a metal planet
on a huge elevator.
************************
Fully satisfied that
the crew jettisoned during flight, the
deck officer seems pleased.
************************
Vader's unease grows--
he senses a tremor in the Force
not felt since Mustafar.
************************
On the Falcon, the
floor opens up to reveal the
head of a Wookiee.
************************
Han ponders the irony
of using smuggling compartments
to smuggle himself.
************************
Obi-Wan reminds Solo
that, in the realm of the fool,
it takes two to tango.
************************
A scanning crew hauls
its equipment aboard, a blue box
weighing hundreds of pounds.
***********************
The distinctive sound
of a blaster lets us know that
TK-421 has bit the dust.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Episode IV: Luck and the Single Pirate
Imperial slugs ditched,
Han announces his greatness
with a smug grin.
---------------------------------
Luke, his head encased
in a blast-shielded helmet,
can't see the remote.
--------------------------------
But Obi-Wan reminds
him that seeing isn't believing, and to
stretch out with his feelings.
-------------------------------
Han, duly unimpressed,
glances to where a wookiee and
a droid play dejarik.
-------------------------------
On a round table, tiny
claymation holograms try to beat the
crap out of each other.
------------------------------
Lulled into complacency
by Ben's force training, Luke is zapped
by a floating ball.
-----------------------------
Han's mockery of hokey
religions and ancient weapons stings
Obi-Wan's masked pride.
-----------------------------
Luke's first step into
a larger world is interrupted
by an asteroid collision.
-----------------------------
Alderaan destroyed-- Ben
senses the sudden quietness after
a million screams subside.
----------------------------
Suddenly, from 10 o'clock,
A TIE fighter appears, seemingly
unaware of the Falcon.
---------------------------
Obi-Wan, always kind,
suggests letting it go, but Solo
has other ideas.
--------------------------
"He's heading for that small moon!"
That's no moon, Ben thinks...Governor
Tarkin's been busy.
---------------------------
The Falcon shudders,
locked in a dance of death with
a tractor beam.
---------------------------
Obi-Wan searches his mind
for all the alternatives to fighting
that he can recall.
Han announces his greatness
with a smug grin.
---------------------------------
Luke, his head encased
in a blast-shielded helmet,
can't see the remote.
--------------------------------
But Obi-Wan reminds
him that seeing isn't believing, and to
stretch out with his feelings.
-------------------------------
Han, duly unimpressed,
glances to where a wookiee and
a droid play dejarik.
-------------------------------
On a round table, tiny
claymation holograms try to beat the
crap out of each other.
------------------------------
Lulled into complacency
by Ben's force training, Luke is zapped
by a floating ball.
-----------------------------
Han's mockery of hokey
religions and ancient weapons stings
Obi-Wan's masked pride.
-----------------------------
Luke's first step into
a larger world is interrupted
by an asteroid collision.
-----------------------------
Alderaan destroyed-- Ben
senses the sudden quietness after
a million screams subside.
----------------------------
Suddenly, from 10 o'clock,
A TIE fighter appears, seemingly
unaware of the Falcon.
---------------------------
Obi-Wan, always kind,
suggests letting it go, but Solo
has other ideas.
--------------------------
"He's heading for that small moon!"
That's no moon, Ben thinks...Governor
Tarkin's been busy.
---------------------------
The Falcon shudders,
locked in a dance of death with
a tractor beam.
---------------------------
Obi-Wan searches his mind
for all the alternatives to fighting
that he can recall.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Episode IV: Ashes to Ashes, Alderaan to Dust
Maybe the reason that
Tarkin is so cranky is because his
uniform's too tight.
---------------------------------
Some fathers criticize
their daughters' dates--Vader takes
things a step further.
---------------------------------
Facing Tarkin, Leia's
English accent holds, but disappears
soon afterward.
---------------------------------
Three figures locked in deadly
peril--one in white, one in black,
and one in grey.
--------------------------------
Leia's far too trusting,
but what can a senator do against
a governor and a Sith?
--------------------------------
Dantooine is too remote--
Tarkin would rather be cruel
than effective.
-------------------------------
Death Star engineers
in crab-like helmets commence
primary ignition.
------------------------------
Physicists say that
the Death Star laser wouldn't work--
I say they miss the point.
-----------------------------
Eight crystal beams
radiate from the hypermatter core--
Alderaan disappears.
Tarkin is so cranky is because his
uniform's too tight.
---------------------------------
Some fathers criticize
their daughters' dates--Vader takes
things a step further.
---------------------------------
Facing Tarkin, Leia's
English accent holds, but disappears
soon afterward.
---------------------------------
Three figures locked in deadly
peril--one in white, one in black,
and one in grey.
--------------------------------
Leia's far too trusting,
but what can a senator do against
a governor and a Sith?
--------------------------------
Dantooine is too remote--
Tarkin would rather be cruel
than effective.
-------------------------------
Death Star engineers
in crab-like helmets commence
primary ignition.
------------------------------
Physicists say that
the Death Star laser wouldn't work--
I say they miss the point.
-----------------------------
Eight crystal beams
radiate from the hypermatter core--
Alderaan disappears.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Episode IV: A Not-So-Subtle Escape
Luke must be for real--
selling his speeder for chump change
is a giant step.
-------------------------------------------
"Troopers of the 501st.
Proceed with caution to cantina district.
Major disturbance in progress."
(Imperial Police Dispatch, Mos Eisley Precinct)
------------------------------------------
Garindan, Imperial spy--
despite his elephant's trunk and squeaky voice,
a dangerous dude.
-----------------------------------------
At docking bay 94
an old YT-1300 freighter
collects space dust.
------------------------------------------
Special modifications?
Point five past light speed?
Kessel Run?
------------------------------------------
Out of nowhere, storm-troopers
blasting wildly at three men, a Wookiee,
and two dingy droids.
------------------------------------------
Millenium Falcon--
time and speed implicit in that
old ship's name.
-----------------------------------------
Blasting through the
atmosphere, Han sees the familiar
wedge-shape of death.
-----------------------------------------
Angling the deflector
shields, Chewie remembers the Wroshyr trees
of his crazy youth.
----------------------------------------
"What's that flashing?!"
Luke will never dust crops again
if he has to float home.
---------------------------------------
The Falcon disappears
into a million threads of light,
the stars spinning wildly.
selling his speeder for chump change
is a giant step.
-------------------------------------------
"Troopers of the 501st.
Proceed with caution to cantina district.
Major disturbance in progress."
(Imperial Police Dispatch, Mos Eisley Precinct)
------------------------------------------
Garindan, Imperial spy--
despite his elephant's trunk and squeaky voice,
a dangerous dude.
-----------------------------------------
At docking bay 94
an old YT-1300 freighter
collects space dust.
------------------------------------------
Special modifications?
Point five past light speed?
Kessel Run?
------------------------------------------
Out of nowhere, storm-troopers
blasting wildly at three men, a Wookiee,
and two dingy droids.
------------------------------------------
Millenium Falcon--
time and speed implicit in that
old ship's name.
-----------------------------------------
Blasting through the
atmosphere, Han sees the familiar
wedge-shape of death.
-----------------------------------------
Angling the deflector
shields, Chewie remembers the Wroshyr trees
of his crazy youth.
----------------------------------------
"What's that flashing?!"
Luke will never dust crops again
if he has to float home.
---------------------------------------
The Falcon disappears
into a million threads of light,
the stars spinning wildly.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Episode IV: Tricking a Princess
Vader and Tarkin, alone,
discussing effective ways
to be supervillians.
================
"The mindprobe didn't
work, so maybe destroying a planet
will make her talk!"
================
(Stupid Lord Vader!
Getting to wear a cool black cape
and shiny boots!)*
*Admiral Motti to himself
===============
Tarkin's lip curls, and
the crevices in his cheeks enlarge
as evil takes shape.
===============
Motti, instructed by Tarkin
to set course for Alderaan, laughs to
himself like Renfield.
discussing effective ways
to be supervillians.
================
"The mindprobe didn't
work, so maybe destroying a planet
will make her talk!"
================
(Stupid Lord Vader!
Getting to wear a cool black cape
and shiny boots!)*
*Admiral Motti to himself
===============
Tarkin's lip curls, and
the crevices in his cheeks enlarge
as evil takes shape.
===============
Motti, instructed by Tarkin
to set course for Alderaan, laughs to
himself like Renfield.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Episode IV: A Space Western Town...Part II
Luke has a drink--
Apparently the drinking age is
18 on Tatooine.
==============================
Young Luke discovers that,
no matter what you do, someone
always wants to kill you.
==============================
A snap-hiss, a flash
of blue; Ponda Baba's arm severed
and useless on the floor.
=============================
Chewbacca, first mate
of the Millenium Falcon, well
over 200 years old.
=============================
Han Solo, captain, pirate,
smuggler--as devilish a rogue as
ever made the Kessel run.
============================
Han demands ten-thousand,
all in advance, underestimating
his new clients.
============================
Old Ben, patient and wise,
promises two thousand plus
fifteen more later.
===========================
ROORWOOWOWRWRW
ROWR--RRROROWWWRRR
RORORWRRROWR! *
*This old man looks
familiar--anyway, he must have Jedi powers
to trick old Han!
(Translated from Wookiee)
===========================
"Seventeen thousand!"
Solo's eyes glisten with the promise
of an easy payoff.
===========================
"Koona t'chuta, Solo?"
Man, if I bag Han Solo, my rep
will be legendary!
===========================
Han, sizing up his foe,
plays his part to the hilt, and
finishes with a bang.
===========================
Two deaths in one day
at Chalmun's Cantina--Han tosses
a coin to old Wuher.
Apparently the drinking age is
18 on Tatooine.
==============================
Young Luke discovers that,
no matter what you do, someone
always wants to kill you.
==============================
A snap-hiss, a flash
of blue; Ponda Baba's arm severed
and useless on the floor.
=============================
Chewbacca, first mate
of the Millenium Falcon, well
over 200 years old.
=============================
Han Solo, captain, pirate,
smuggler--as devilish a rogue as
ever made the Kessel run.
============================
Han demands ten-thousand,
all in advance, underestimating
his new clients.
============================
Old Ben, patient and wise,
promises two thousand plus
fifteen more later.
===========================
ROORWOOWOWRWRW
ROWR--RRROROWWWRRR
RORORWRRROWR! *
*This old man looks
familiar--anyway, he must have Jedi powers
to trick old Han!
(Translated from Wookiee)
===========================
"Seventeen thousand!"
Solo's eyes glisten with the promise
of an easy payoff.
===========================
"Koona t'chuta, Solo?"
Man, if I bag Han Solo, my rep
will be legendary!
===========================
Han, sizing up his foe,
plays his part to the hilt, and
finishes with a bang.
===========================
Two deaths in one day
at Chalmun's Cantina--Han tosses
a coin to old Wuher.
Episode IV: A Space Western Town...Part I
Mos Eisley the space-
port--everywhere you look, nothing but
scum and villainy.
============================
"These aren't the droids
we're looking for!---Wait! Those ARE
the droids we're looking for!!"
============================
Sometime between May, 1977
and May 1997, dewbacks appeared
outside the cantina.
===========================
Artoo and Threepio,
minding their own business, victims of
Tatooine racism.
==========================
The smooth sounds of
The Modal Nodes waft through the room--
Luke's in deep now.
==========================
Obi-Wan, experienced in
languages (and bars), speaks in low growls
to a strange Wookiee.
port--everywhere you look, nothing but
scum and villainy.
============================
"These aren't the droids
we're looking for!---Wait! Those ARE
the droids we're looking for!!"
============================
Sometime between May, 1977
and May 1997, dewbacks appeared
outside the cantina.
===========================
Artoo and Threepio,
minding their own business, victims of
Tatooine racism.
==========================
The smooth sounds of
The Modal Nodes waft through the room--
Luke's in deep now.
==========================
Obi-Wan, experienced in
languages (and bars), speaks in low growls
to a strange Wookiee.
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